


Hellooooooooo, Boys

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blackmail, Blow Jobs, Crowley Being an Asshole, Humor, I know first person sucks sorry, Impala Fic, Impala Sex, M/M, POV First Person, Sex in the Impala, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-26 17:57:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1697306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crowley bugs the imapala. Gets more than he expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written in first person because I was trying a thing. I'm aware it's awful.

I'm the King of Hell. I've killed millions of things. Billions. Not even an ounce of guilt.  
But, this...  
Ohhhh, boy.  
It was just a little trick. Put a mic in the Impala. See if I could, you know, listen in. Get an advantage. It was a hell of a lot easier than training some dunce-cap pawn demons to do a doppelganger spell to spy on them. Hey, king needs a break every once in a while.  
I just expected some whining, a bit of drama... moose sounds, perhaps. If we were lucky, we'd get a town or a name. So I kept a guy on the speaker for the live feed at all times. It was a full week before we heard anything interesting.  
They called me down. Said they got something they're not sure about. These imbiciles can't do anything on their own.  
At first, it just sounded like Dean's music. Then, talking.  
"Blah blah blah I've been to hell waaaah waaah"  
"[Moose sounds]"  
(Okay, it wasn't exactly like that but that was probably the jist of it)  
Then... wait... kissing sounds? I should really have been paying more attention. Sounds like they're really going at it, too. Interesting.  
The seats squeak. Moose hits his head on the inside of the door. Dean laughs. More kissing sounds.  
 _Click, Zzzzzzip._ Pants being undone.  
Shuffling. They're moving around.  
Oh, my. Heavy breaths. Moaning. Dean moaning. Suc...sucking sounds. Wow.  
 _Hmmmmmnnn..._ Moose is humming in the back of his throat. Hah, good technique. Naughty boy.  
The moaning and heavy breathing get faster and faster. Quiet whimpers. Gasps. Groans.  
"Oh, fuck. Fuck. Sammy, baby..."  
Faster, shallower breaths.  
"Son of a-- fuck! Sammy!"  
Did he just... yeah. He did. Moose eases off of Dean with a quiet pop.  
"Heh, Dean." More kissing. Wow, they must really love each other. No wonder they can't stay apart for long.  
I take off the headphones and point to the tape player.  
"Who else heard this?"  
"Uhh, n... no one but me, sir."  
"I see. Good, good." I slit his throat and leave. Time to pay a visit to my favourite pair of _loving_ brothers a nice little visit.


	2. Chapter 2

"Helloooooooo, boys."  
"Oh fuck, not you."  
"How rude, Dean. I was just _dying_ to see you again. Or should I say... _moaning_."  
"What the hell do you want, Crowley?"  
"Oh, _Sammy, baby_ , not you too. Do I need to _suck_ up to you two to have a decent conversation?"  
Their faces fall. Oh, this is better than I expected! I'm just on cloud nine. Well. Metaphorically speaking. More like...cloud... negative nine. Whatever.  
"What did you hear?"  
"Oh, Moose. I heard everything."  
"How much everything?"  
"I mean everythiiiiiiiiiiiing, Dean. Everything."  
They look at each other.  
"Fuck."


End file.
